by Ian Heydon

I grew up in the New South Wales country town of Gundagai, population around 2000. That's about the same number as passengers on the Pacific Dawn cruise liner. Towns and ships have a bit in common. In any town you'll find people from all walks of life - teachers, students, doctors, lawyers, labourers, shopkeepers, newlyweds, divorcees, wild youths, teetotallers, drunks, churchgoers, Liberal voters, Labor voters and characters kindly dubbed as 'colourful'. Same with a cruise ship.

And all these disparate people join to make up a community. Cemented by geography and a similar sense of purpose, they get along and pretty much have a relaxed and rewarding time. Again, same with a cruise ship.

In a country town you have facilities and entertainment - a swimming pool, a library, a medical centre, florist, hairdresser, restaurants, pubs and clubs. Again, same, but better on a ship. Within walking distance from your cabin you have a choice of swimming pools and whirlpool spas, a library, Internet access, a medical centre, a gymnasium & health spa, florist, hairdresser, jogging track, nine bars and lounges, two restaurants and a pizzeria. In a town you'll find pokies at the pubs and clubs. On the ship, it's a full casino. In a town you get occasional live entertainment. On a ship you get it every night. Throw in duty free shopping, a deck lounge with a good book and exotic ports of call and you have something pretty special. Throw in the romance of the tropics for couples, lots to keep the kids occupied for families and party time for singles and everybody's happy!

I've been on the Pacific Sky and taken a Blue Lagoon Cruise in Fiji and I can certainly understand the attraction to cruising. And also why dieting may be necessary when you get back home. Much of my cruising experience, however, has come from observing passengers arriving in Port Vila for the day when I lived in Vanuatu for three years. Town bustles with new people exploring the markets, buying bargain duty free, taking tours, climbing waterfalls, snorkelling, diving and lunching in the restaurants and bars.

Two quick stories of unhappy passengers though...

I met a young bloke in a bar and struck up a conversation. He was “off the cruise ship” but flying home the next day because he'd been a self-confessed 'idiot'. His parents gave him the cruise to celebrate the end of his school days but he partied a bit too hard. His memory was a bit blurred but totally drunk he hijacked someone's wheelchair for a derby down the halls, ending by taking out a couple of other passengers when he failed to see some stairs approaching.

Security detained him for the rest of the night and arranged for him to depart the cruise. No refund, plus an airfare and a lot of embarrassment and shouting when he got back home. Cruise ships are great for partying but, for the comfort of all passengers, there are limitations.

On another occasion I was passing the Port Vila post office and saw a ship passenger on a public telephone, crying. I overheard her saying that she was “stuck in the middle of town and didn't know where to go”. She hung up and I asked if I could help. Rather than take a tour, she asked a bus driver to drop her into town, which he did. Normally, she would have been fine, but the ship had arrived on a Sunday. This meant the markets were closed, banks were closed, most shops were closed and this poor woman was on a lonely corner, not knowing where to go or what to do.

Incidentally, there is a lot to do on a Sunday in Vila, if you have a bit of local knowledge. I took her to a restaurant on the harbour front and we chatted about a few options. She decided to visit Mele Cascades waterfall, which I'm sure she would have enjoyed. The tip here is to plan sightseeing and activities prior to the ship docking - and that's pretty much what this site is about.

For balance, a happier tale. My sister met her husband on a P&O cruise and now, twenty-three years and two grown up children later they still enjoy cruising, and I happened to be in Vila on a day when a ship wedding we had organised was scheduled. I was curious because the bride and groom had invited over 70 guests. I just hovered about, watching the transfers and logistics (everything went like clockwork). Following the ceremony, photos and champagne popping I introduced myself to the bride and congratulated her - she burst into tears, hugged me and said, “Thank you, this is the happiest day of my life!”

When I returned to Australia, I set up a travel agency to specialise in travel to Vanuatu, especially for honeymooners and those wanting a wedding in the tropics. To be honest, it's a fantastic job because newlyweds are always happy and positive and I get to put up with the hardship of visiting Vanuatu about four times a year, only in the name of research of course!

Feel free to drop me an email with any questions you may have about what to do in Vanuatu or New Caledonia (or Gundagai!) and for more information on cruises including prices etc, email Laura, our resident cruising expert.